By The Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead

By The Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead

Julie Anne Peters

200 pages

Released: January 5, 2010

Publisher: Disney Hyperion

Source: swapped for

★★★★☆

You can read the Goodreads summary here.

Daelyn is done.  After her latest suicide attempt failed, she's determined not to fail this time.  She signs up for a social website filled with others determined to kill themselves.  The site gives her ten days before she has to end her life.  

I put off writing this review for a week because I didn't know what to say.  Quite simply, I don't think I have the vocabulary to describe how deeply this book touched me.  This book was excruciatingly difficult to read because of how realistic it is and it's going to be hard for me to write this review as a result. 

Each of the ten days Daelyn has left is chronicled in this book.  Despite the fact that she's already decided to end her life once and for all, her life sort of goes on.  Her parents continue to be annoying, she continues to not take her meds, and she continues to close everyone out of her life.  But she meets Santana after school one day while she waiting for her mother to pick her up and Santana simply won't leave her alone.  He slowly weasels his way into her life, much to Daelyn's chagrin. 

I should mention that Daelyn isn't able to speak.  We learn early on in the novel that she's wearing a neck brace and something has happened that prevents her from speaking.  I assumed it was because of her previous suicide attempt, but I couldn't figure out exactly what happened.  When I finally learned what happened, I just ached.  My heart just ached for Daelyn.  She's obviously fictional, but as I mentioned, the book - and Daelyn's character in particular - is so unbelievable realistic that I yearned to do something for her.  I'm choking up a little bit even now, thinking about it.

Four stars.  This book was extremely difficult to read but extremely worth it.  If you or someone you know has had an experience bullying, depression, and or suicide, I highly recommend this one - with a box of tissues.